Raise your hand—or better yet, send me a quick comment—if you’ve ever heard holiday sentiments like these:
“I sent 42 Christmas cards and only got back 39.”
“I spent all day preparing that meal, and you ate it in 20 minutes.”
“Why did you choose the bathroom to hang that painting I gave you?”
Psychologists tell us our greatest emotional need is to be appreciated. But what if, instead, we made our greatest emotional need to be thankful? This would offer three advantages:
- Gratitude is available to us any time, anywhere—unlike appreciation, which may or may not happen, or happen on our terms.
- Our giving would be “cleaner” and more rewarding. Why? Because we would give not to gain appreciation, but to express our own.
- When being appreciated is no longer the point, we find the thanks we do receive to be more than enough—which in turn fuels our gratitude.
So in that spirit, here are a few friendly reminders for how to make your holiday gift-giving easy, joyful and memorable:
- Give what you can cheerfully give, without expectation.
- Don’t give more than the recipient can comfortably accept.
- Think in terms of the other person’s particular interests—golf, reading, etc.
- Aim for gifts that require no explanation.
- Put some effort into the presentation.
- Have fun with it! And once the gift is out of your hands, kindly let it go.
Finally, when you’re the recipient, show your thanks in whatever way seems best—in person, by phone, in writing, even Skype. The main thing is to just do it, preferably in a way that adds to the joy of the giver.
Commit yourself to the art of giving and receiving, and you’ll change your whole world for the better.
P.S. And if you’re scolded for eating that holiday meal in 20 minutes? Smile and remind the cook that the memories will keep you warm all winter—and then offer to do the dishes.
Network with Gina