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Goals: Find Others Who Will Hold You Accountable

March 6, 2012 By

Goals should be fun—and nothing adds to the enjoyment and increases your likelihood of success like being accountable. For example, I belong to a listserv where members have the option of setting quarterly goals and checking in weekly to report on progress. We share setbacks and victories, articulate what we’ve learned, and declare our objectives for the week ahead. Challenging, and at times humbling, but always worth it.

There’s power in numbers. Find a friend, a peer, a co-worker, a manager, any like-minded soul who shares your desire to set goals and make consistent progress. Set up a time, at least once per week, to check in with each other. And though it may sound obvious, make sure your accountability partner is someone you experience as a friend to your success. Not sure? Trust your gut.

Filed Under: Leadership, Personal Effectiveness

Goals: Impact Trumps Difficulty

March 3, 2012 By

Sometimes we make our goals too difficult. The first test of a good goal is not “How hard is it?” but “What will be the result(s) if I achieve it?”

Put another way, make sure your goals pass the “Does this really matter?” test. Goals are about improving your quality of life, not simply proving yourself. In the words of Nathaniel Branden, “If my aim is to prove I am ‘enough,’ the project goes on to infinity—because the battle was already lost on the day I conceded the issue was debatable.”

Ask yourself, “What will I have to become to achieve my goal(s), and what will I have to compromise or give up?” And of course, ask yourself the final question: “Is that okay?”

Filed Under: Leadership, Personal Effectiveness

Put Your Goals to the “Heart” Test

February 29, 2012 By

Supposedly fewer than five percent of us set goals and make plans for their accomplishment. What a shame. I am convinced that far more of us would make the effort if we found our goals more personally rewarding. What you want with all your heart, you’ll go after with all your heart. A good goal is one you can’t not go after. If your goals don’t pass the heart test, it’s probably time for a new list of goals.

Filed Under: Leadership, Personal Effectiveness

Why Goals Matter (Even When They Tank)

February 27, 2012 By

Have you ever looked back on your list of goals, only to laugh out loud — or cringe? Sometimes when our goals don’t materialize, we’re tempted to give up.

When I was a brand-new grad student, one of my professors, Dr. Z, had us write down our goals for the program. My first goal was to graduate with two job offers — one in Grand Rapids, Mich., where I was from — and one in San Diego, where I was going to school. My second goal was to have a signed book contract.

Little did I know, I had just written my first piece of fiction. The truth is, I graduated with one job offer, and a contract to write a few articles and columns. That turned out to be enough. And what I experienced and achieved outside of those two things turned out to be more than enough — certainly more meaningful and more adventurous than anything I could have planned.

Which brings me to a life-changing lesson too good not to share: Setting goals and making plans, even when they don’t materialize, is what allows even better things to happen. Without goals and plans, we drift. More often than not, we end up with even less than we had aimed for. So take advantage of the enormous energy, clarity of purpose, and focus that goals provide.

How? In whatever way works best for you. But beware of getting caught up in the process. Let the process serve you, but don’t let it delay you. One of the simplest and most effective goal-setting strategies I know comes from Jim Rohn, who said repeatedly, “Decide what you want, and write it down.”

What would you like to accomplish this week? How would you like to feel? Whose life (or lives) would you like to touch? How much sleep would you like to get? “Decide what you want, and write it down.”

P.S. If you follow my blog over the coming week, you’ll discover more tools and tips for moving your life forward through the incredible power of goal-setting. Stay tuned, and in the meantime, make it a great Monday!

Filed Under: Leadership, Personal Effectiveness

Start Your Presentations with a Bang

February 13, 2012 By

Think about how most presentations begin—either with a litany of thanks to various people, or worse, with a joke. What happens when you hear the litany of thanks? Chances are, you tune out. You might even reach for your phone. And what happens when the joke or story is one you’ve already heard? You probably think (not in a good way), “Here we go.”

But what if the next time you spoke, you could draw your audience in, turning their “Here we go” into “Tell me more”? The key is to start with a bang—i.e., captivating your audience in a way that’s relevant, unexpected, and of course, professional.

3 Ways to Start Your Presentation with a Bang

1. Dive straight into a story. For maximum impact, make it unique.

2. Call back to the group or event. This connects you to your audience and signals that your presentation is just for them.

For example, when I spoke last summer to a group of MBA students, I knew they had been put off by another presenter’s question, “Do you know how to read a balance sheet?” So in my opening, I gave them three guarantees, the last one being, “I will not ask if you know how to read a balance sheet.” This broke the ice, let them know I had done my homework, and showed respect for their intelligence.

3. Ask a powerful question, one that drives home your message. Used properly, this is a surefire way to pique the audience’s interest and get them eager to hear more. It also invites the audience to participate, transforming your presentation from a monologue into a dialogue—this should always be your goal throughout your presentation, regardless of how you begin.

Would you like to learn more ways to increase your influence and impact? I invite you to download my free white paper, Confidence, Credibility and Results, Part 1: How to Structure a Powerful Presentation.

Filed Under: Leadership, Presentation Skills

Are You Happy? And Is That the Real Question?

January 27, 2012 By

Years ago, I heard a senior vice president describe his two favorite tests to size up a job candidate — though I’ve never used either one, both have always stayed with me.

The first test was to take the candidate on a company tour. The senior VP would walk at a rapid clip, just to see how well the candidate kept pace. A swift gait signaled inner drive — which is what the senior VP wanted. Candidates who sauntered, or kept their hands in their pockets, lost points in a hurry. (It’s probably the only thing they did in a hurry.)

The second test was more pointed. After the interviewer returned to his office, he would sit down with the candidate, look the person in the eye and ask, “Are you happy?” I understand his point — he didn’t want to hire people who were depressing or depressed. As he said, he was looking for “bright, happy people.”

But the (bright, happy) editor in me would ask a different set of questions. If I were going with the happiness theme, and I wanted to get a glimpse of the candidate’s world, the size of that world, and the candidate’s locus of control, I would ask the following:

  • What brings you happiness? (Subtext: Is it something inside of you or outside of you?)
  • What sustains you when you’re not happy? (i.e., Do you have a support system in place? How strong is it?)
  • How would you distinguish happiness from joy?

That last question. Though it might not fit in an interview, it’s a reminder that while happiness matters, some things matter even more. Think back on your most joyful moments, both on the job and off. Chances are at least some of them required triumphing over difficulties, or simply doing what needed to be done, even when there was no sense of triumph.

Back in the 1990s, when my extended family went through an unexpected loss (as all families eventually do), there was no trace of happiness in that overcrowded church. But there was joy in rising to the occasion, setting aside everything else to be with parents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, consoling others and being consoled, and knowing when I returned to the office there would be meaningful work and co-workers who cared. They, too, rose to the occasion.

All of this reminds me of a sign on my refrigerator: “The Joy Comes from Doing the Right Thing.” Doing the right thing sometimes hurts. It sometimes costs. But unlike happiness, which can fade and make us flabby, joy only grows stronger. Joy only makes us stronger.

Filed Under: Personal Effectiveness

What Sort of Year Will You Have?

January 25, 2012 By

You have probably heard the investment maxim, “As January goes, so goes the year.” If that’s true not only in financial markets but also in your own life, what sort of 2012 will you have — based on your results and resolve thus far?

If I can make it up those hills, so can you!

Resolve doesn’t mean clenching your teeth and muscling your way through. (I learned this years ago while bicycling through New Mexico. One of the group leaders told us specifically not to muscle our way through. Instead, she said, “It’s all about cadence.” Once I learned this, even the toughest hills became much more doable. Whatever hills you’re facing, this statement can also work for you. As Frank Sinatra sang, “Nice and easy does it every time.”)

So how can you use these last fleeting days of January to set the pace for the rest of 2012? Here are some questions you can ask yourself — if you serve in a leadership role, you can also adapt these questions for your team:

  • What level of health do I want — and what will I have to do or give up to achieve it?
  • How do I want to feel? For example, if you decide your goal is to feel great, you will find it relatively easy to let go of or get past the things that bring you down. And, you’ll spread good cheer to others. (I have always believed that assertive people are far more uplifting than those who are unassertive.)
  • What’s one skill or habit I can develop that will add the most to my quality of life?
  • How can I use my time, especially my commute time, more productively?
  • How do I want to contribute to the world, personally and professionally?
  • What adventure(s) do I want to experience and look back on in December?

You get the idea. I read a statement recently that said, “Live this year as though it were your last.” Whether we have one more year or fifty, this day and this year will never come again. Make them count!

Filed Under: Leadership, Personal Effectiveness

What Kind of People Do You Surround Yourself With?

January 23, 2012 By

To illustrate the gravity of this question, I asked my students one morning during class, “If a hiring manager’s abilities are a six on a ten-point scale, do you think the manager is more likely to hire an eight or a four?”

Every student immediately guessed “eight.” But when they discovered the real answer was four, based on our human tendency to protect ourselves (and to protect our own egos), you could almost see the light bulbs go on.

What kind of people do you seek out and surround yourself with? If you’re in a position to hire or fire, your answer has exponential impact. Suppose one of your senior partners hires a six. If a six is more likely to hire a four, a four will be more likely to hire a two, or at best, another four. What kind of firm will you have, ten years from now, if it follows that trajectory? How well will you be able to compete? (Nathaniel Branden writes about this principle in his book, Self-Esteem at Work.)

Here’s the good news: Overcoming this human tendency is just a decision away. For example, one of my former managers used to say only half-jokingly, “I couldn’t get hired here” — even though he owned the company. He had made a point of hiring people who had strengths he didn’t have, and as a result, both he and the company grew stronger.

Each one of us, even if we’re unable to hire or fire, has the opportunity not only to strengthen our organizations, but truly to elevate mankind by our example. In those arresting lines from Martin Luther King Jr., “We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly.”

This week, why not seek out and surround yourself with those who inspire you to raise your game? Why not let your example inspire everyone you meet? The risks are temporary, but the rewards can last even beyond our lifetimes.

Filed Under: Leadership

Networking Should Feel Natural

January 9, 2012 By

Whether you work on your own, as I do, or you’re surrounded by staff and co-workers, much of your career satisfaction—and thus, your life satisfaction—will be determined by your business relationships.

Which is why we desperately need to pluck “networking” out of its traditional realm of the superficial and the artificial. For example, Harvard Business Review recently advised, “At social events, don’t just spend time with your friends and colleagues. Seek out the people who don’t fit in (hint: they look alone and uncomfortable) and strike up a conversation.”

(I tried this once on the playground in fourth grade—invited a third-grader who looked like she needed a friend to ride the teeter-totter. Two minutes later, while I was dangling at the top, she became distracted and darted away. Bam! Slammed me to the ground and knocked the wind right out of me. Suddenly I knew why she had so few friends!)

So how do you ensure your networking is authentic, enjoyable and worthwhile? Here are three filters you can use to evaluate organizations, events and interpersonal relationships:

1. Absence of inner conflict. Do you truly feel drawn to this person/opportunity, or do you merely think you should? As my brother John once said, “I decided I could do what was important—or what looked important.”

2. Trust, regard and mutual respect. When your networking passes these three tests, chances are it won’t feel like “networking.” Networking is elevator music. Connecting with those you like and respect is rhythm and blues.

3. Mutual benefit. One of my former co-workers, a rising star in the speaking world, was telling me about his modest friendship with a company president, a prominent figure in the community. My former workmate shared how he made sure he always had something to offer in return—a book, a quote, anything of genuine value. What a wise approach to any relationship, business or personal.

Finally—and I’m saying this as much to myself as to you—be careful about spreading yourself too thin. Go for depth over breadth, even when it means saying no. As Robert James Waller observed in his essay The Turning of Fifty, “You have fewer people at your funeral, but you get more reading time.”

Filed Under: Communication / Etiquette, Leadership, Personal Effectiveness

2011 Home Stretch – Make It Count!

December 26, 2011 By

Last week, one of my peers shared that he had just returned from his first real vacation since he set out to work on his own, three years ago. You could hear the relief in his voice, and the renewed energy. I could even hear him breathing differently as he shared his goals for the upcoming quarter. He closed his email with “Woohoo!” 

Since each week has 168 hours, why not set aside two of them this week to look back on the current year — what worked well, what took you by surprise, what needs to change or be eliminated  — and then use what you’ve learned to help shape the year ahead?

Here are just a few creative ways we can invest our time this week:

  • Claim a spot on our 2012 calendar for a much-needed vacation, so we have it to look forward to
  • Identify the one professional goal that would make the greatest difference, and set a deadline for achieving it; do the same in the personal realm
  • Sign up for a 5K walk/run, and take the first step toward preparing for it
  • Take a recurring task that has always seemed laborious, and find a way to streamline it — you might even try following a checklist
  • Send an overdue card/email, or make an overdue phone call to someone who needs to hear from you
  • Establish one or more daily rituals at specific times, to stay on track with what matters most. Mealtimes can be a great place to start, or recommit to.

I don’t know about you, but I am not yet at the “Woohoo!” stage. But I challenge both of us to use this final week of 2011 to clean up, clean out, count our blessings, and get a head start on 2012 — and enjoy the rewards that inevitably follow.

Filed Under: Leadership, Personal Effectiveness
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